spaceguy | (no subject)

Guy's hand lingers, in the air, for a second after Jasper lets go, before he drops it.

Time to keep going.

He has to be more sensitive to Jasper, though. Guy is about as physically fit as a person can get, short of being a professional athlete. Granted, he's not used to using that to hike through possibly irradiated forests, but strength translates well regardless. Jasper looks like he's spent most of his life in front of a computer.

It's another few minutes before Guy realizes he actually misses Jasper's talking.

He turns, brushing fingertips against Jasper's throat, his voicebox, wondering if that would get the message across.

It's been a long time since anyone's been nice to Jasper. Well, without wanting something in return and fucking him over sooner rather than later.

That's why Guy's kindness trips him up a little. Why he finds himself so caught up still by the way Guy's hands felt. That's gotta be it.

How long has it been since anyone's touched him, anyway? Getting the shit kicked out of him doesn't really count. Not that Jasper really invited anything else, even before all this.

He's getting lost in thought, following Guy's lead through the woods on some kind of autopilot, thinking about his fucked-up life, and all the shit that got him where he is now, where he doesn't know where he is, but Guy...

He inhales sharply at the touch to his throat (is this guy psychic or something?), and what the hell does that mean? Soft and light, almost a question, and yeah, the way Guy's looking at him, it totally is.

Jasper lets go of the breath he's been holding, and it comes out as kind of a shaky laugh. "You want me to talk?" he asks, incredulous. "Man, nobody ever wants that." He's being pretty self-deprecating, as if he has any other settings, but he's smiling all the same.

Guy shrugs. The journey's a pretty silent one, and it's not like he's going to spend any time talking. And somehow, he doubts that Jasper's run-on monologues are going to bother him.

They might get Jasper out-of-breath, that's true. But they can walk slower.

And besides, Guy already traded away his iPod (with several hours of charge left on it) for an extra knife. It's not like there's anything else to listen to.

He nods, like, okay, go ahead.

"All right man, but you'll be sorry."

But fuck, it's actually kind of hard to think of something to say. There's a lot of stuff he wants to know, but Guy's not gonna answer any questions, no matter how curious Jasper is. He probably wouldn't answer them even if he did talk, so no point in asking. All that would do is annoy them both.

Jasper doesn't want to annoy Guy. Not any more than he already has.

"Damn, and now I've got, like, nothing to say," Jasper mumbles self-consciously. "Thanks again for the, back there, that thing you did. I don't think you're a doctor, 'cause doctors aren't usually so... y'know." He gestures toward Guy, acknowledging his, well, Guyness. "But you've had some kind of training, right?"

He doesn't exactly wait for an answer, since he doesn't expect to get one. "Me, I don't know shit about shit, unless you're interested in what a bunch of old dead guys thought about the human psyche." He shrugs, "Or how to fuckin' flip burgers, neither of which is really relevant nowadays."

Guy shakes his head, to indicate that, indeed, he isn't a doctor. Engineer, yes; astrophysicist, yes. But there's no way to communicate those with nods, even if Guy wanted to.

Which he really, really doesn't.

In fact, he'd rather forget all of that entirely - that is, if those skills don't some day prove completely necessary to keep him alive. He certainly has his education, his experience to thank for his continued existence so far.

He smiles a little, at the last bit. Flipping burgers might come in handy, if Jasper can figure out how to cook meat over a fire.

"I guess I can cook, kind of," Jasper continues, thinking out loud. "Though it's not like we're gonna find a fryer out in the wilderness or anything." He winces a little, really hoping that didn't sound as retarded as he thinks it did.

Jasper likes the idea of trying, though. To cook. He doesn't want Guy feeling like he has to take care of him all the time; like he's just some kind of burden.

"I was a boy scout for like, two years," he volunteers, "and I think I probably remember most of that stuff. Y'know, starting campfires, tying knots, all that shit. And I'm pretty resourceful when I wanna be, so don't go feeling like you have to do all the work here. If there's something you want me to do, just tell - just let me know."

That would be helpful. Division of tasks.

...he wonders if Jasper saw one of the explosions. Or survived one of the explosions. So long as he got out, after the explosion, he could have survived a blast, maybe as close as ten, fifteen miles, depending on how people panicked afterwards.

No use, really. He can't ask that question.

He falters, for a second. Doesn't think about what he saw, where he was.

Guy goes quiet. Well, quieter; kind of distant, like he's remembering something that happened a long time ago. Something that shook him pretty bad.

"Hey," Jasper says, a little concerned. "What's on your mind?"

Without looking at Jasper, Guy takes a stick, from the ground, and makes a few select curves in the damp earth.

A mushroom cloud.

Like that isn't on everyone's mind.

"Fuck, dude," Jasper sighs, looking at the picture in the dirt. "Tell me about it."

He laughs, a thin nervous sound without much amusement in it. "Sorry, forgot who I was talking to."

He goes quiet too, for a few minutes, thinking about... God, shit that he's really done thinking about, really. It's bad enough that he has to live in the fucking awful present, without thinking of the past he can't change. But his mouth gets away from him, big surprise.

"That was some shit," he says, eloquently. " I mean, I was pretty far away from... any of those, so it took a while for me to get what was going on. Story of my fucking life."

But he did see the unmistakable shape of a mushroom cloud, way off in the distance, and he hadn't even had time to process it before the panicking started.

Pretty far away, huh?

It's been weeks, with no communication network, all major cities disabled, the internet and most power grids collapsed. People don't even know for sure what cities were struck.

Guy does.

He ducks his head, and drops the stick. Continues on his way.

Guy moves on, obviously done with talking about it. Which is, y'know, more than fine with Jasper. He doesn't wanna be living it, let alone talking about it.

They walk in silence for a while longer, while Jasper tries to think of anything more pleasant to say, and Guy thinks about... whatever he's thinking about. Jasper wonders how far they've come. It's kind of hard for him to tell how long they've been at it.

He's starting to get kind of thirsty; probably a sign that he's been yapping too much. And thinking about it, he probably should have grabbed some stuff from the camp before they left. Not that he really had anything useful, anyway.

"How long do you figure we've been walking?" he asks, as much to break the silence as out of actual curiosity. It doesn't really matter how long it's been when they don't have a destination in mind.

Guy perks up.

Not as Jasper's words, but at the sound he's just realized he's been hearing. A river. And up ahead, it seems.

Not for the first time, he wishes that he had a map of the surrounding area; even so, he knows the sound of water when he hears it. He increases his pace, until he bursts out of the trees on the edge of a bluff, a waterfall tumbling down to the river below.

About twelve feet high, Guy decides. Not a stunning vista, but the water's fast-moving, which means relatively clean.

"Hey, wait up!" Jasper calls as Guy takes off. Man, he can really move when he wants to. But now he can hear it, rushing water, and it's really close.

Yeah, it's not the greatest view, really; but it's still somehow awesome.

He turns to Guy, who seems to be analyzing the waterfall. "Do you think it's safe?"

Guy already has his Geiger counter out. Nothing, from this far out; he slips the pack off, setting it on the rock, and turns, climbing down the rock to land, more or less solidly, on the more slippery rocks below.

Here, closer to the water, it still doesn't register anywhere near the danger levels.

Perfect.

He sticks his head under the waterfall, shaking out his hair, and then makes a motion, like he's drinking water, at Jasper. There are empty bottles in the backpack; now is the time to refill them.

Guy shakes his head like a dog or something, water flying everywhere, and Jasper has to laugh because, damn, that looks good. He clambers down the rocks as fast as he can without wiping out, and does the same thing.

Shit, it feels a million times better than it looked. The water is cool, almost cold, and Jasper slicks his hair back from his face, tilting his head back to drink deeply from the waterfall.

Jasper flicks his fingers, sending a playful spray of water in Guy's direction. He's really fucking glad he's here.

Guy half-smiles, flicking some water back in Jasper's.

It's better to have company, he thinks.

Before messing around in the water, he goes back to his pack, opens up the water bottles, and refills them, one by one. It'll be heavy to carry, but better that than thirst.

That done, he reaches in and musses Jasper's hair, water-soaked as it is. It's mischievous and a little too affectionate for the short time that they've known each other, but, somehow, it works.

Jasper grins, leaning into Guy's hand, and shit... maybe they're too close, but Jasper doesn't care. The playfulness, the affection feels too good. And hell, Guy has really nice eyes.

He doesn't want to scare Guy off, but... if that wasn't a concern, Jasper might just duck in and kiss him. He's grateful, and he's attracted, and it's all mixing up in his head.

Jasper laughs, because whatever, and he doesn't back away.

And Jasper has that look in his eyes. A look that might end up being more dangerous than not.

Guy bites his lip, drawing back an inch or two, but he's still watching Jasper's eyes. It's all been pain and silence since the crash - nothing could ever be as loud as that, nothing could ever describe what Guy has seen - but this is a sort of aching tug that doesn't feel like pain or silence.

And the way Guy looks at him, like maybe he wants it, but he's still so fucking haunted.

Guy's biting his lip, and god help him, whatever help him, Jasper leans in; presses his mouth over Guy's lower lip until he lets it go.

And Guy does let it go. Leans into the kiss, in a gentle sort of way, flooding with want. It's like Jasper has uncovered a part of him he's been painstakingly trying to hide these past few weeks.

He tilts his head, to deepen it, just a hint, and briefly considers taking refuge in denial. In stepping back, letting Jasper fend for himself.

But he can't make himself do it.

Jasper's hand threads into Guy's hair, not letting him pull away even if he wanted to, now that they're both being fucking honest for once. He swipes his tongue over Guy's lips, into his mouth, letting him know that yeah, Jasper wants this, and no, he's not ashamed of it, and there's no fucking reason to hide that anymore.

He steps in closer to Guy's body, feeling the heat of it pressed up against him through their clothes and fuck, it's been a really long time, but Jasper isn't going to push it; not too far, not this time. He's happy just to have the kiss.

Guy's hands settle on Jasper's waist - no, they drift around to his back, unashamedly pulling him closer.

And then he remembers - memory, like the flicker of a candle's flame - what it looked like. What he thought. - This is the end, this is it, we're all done.

He pushes Jasper back against the rock, for the moment unconcerned about the discomfort it might cause - the rock isn't exactly worn smooth - and kisses him hard, desperate and possessive.

Prove to me that humanity is still real.

"Ah, fuck..." Jasper gasps into the kiss, back hitting the rocks harder than he anticipated, but it doesn't hurt, not really; not with the way Guy's holding him.

And god, it feels so fucking good. The hand that isn't tangled in Guy's hair wanders down his back, over his side; twining in the waistband of his pants and pulling their hips together. He sighs against Guy's lips, letting his left leg hook around his leg, letting Guy know that whatever he wants, Jasper is into it.

Jasper just opens up against him, yielding completely, and Guy just - doesn't know if he can resist this. The gasped curse goes straight to his cock, already hard, getting harder with every beat of his very-rapidly-pounding heart.

They can't be about to do this.

But it's passion, liquid-fast, quickening, and it's not like Guy has never felt anything like this before. It's just that this seems to shine brighter because of the darkness around it.

He breaks the kiss, nosing under Jasper's jaw, licking at the beaded river-water there.